We need to teach people to fish
Imagine a man is sitting by a riverbank. Things really aren't going well for him, as he's almost out of money and he's starving. He can see the fish in the water, but he doesn't know how to catch, prepare or cook them. Then, someone walks by and simply says, "you are loved". Another person walks by and says "believe in yourself”, before another stranger declares that "everything will work out in the end, you just need to stay positive". Is that really going to help him?
Let's be honest, when it comes to mental health and wellbeing this is literally what's happening on social media. While there's often a positive intent behind statements like these, they're probably not going to lead to meaningful changes.
Let's go back to the man on the river bank. Someone else comes along and offers some more practical help. They bring him freshly cooked fish for one week. They solve the problem temporarily. The problem is, they need to move on to help other people and don’t have much time. At the end of the week, the man on the bank is back where he started.
In the real world, this could be a small offering of support or money. It could also be a provision of medication or short-term therapy. Something that helps for a bit, but often leaves the person back where they started.
The man on the riverbank is then joined by another stranger, who sits with him and tells him about their story. They explain how they were in a similar position and how unfair this is. They then complain about the government and billionaires before leaving. While it’s nice to know that someone cares, the man on the riverbank is again left alone facing his own pressing problems.
While peer support can be helpful, especially in-person, it can be easy for the person sharing the story to focus on themselves. They may not even realise they are doing it. Online, we see a lot of stories and complaints but they often seem to focus on the negative. Where is the optimism and where is the way forward?
Our man on the riverbank then meets someone else, and they have an offer for him. They tell him they are a ‘Fish Preparation Consultant’. They have extensive experience enabling their clients in the procurement and processing of aquatic vertebrates.
After a free ten-minute consultation, they can offer five comprehensive sessions that will allow him to become self-sustainable and able to thrive in the challenging riverbank environment. They take all the money he has left and basically show him how to fish. They take their time and complicate things though, as they need to justify the expense.
When he can afford his own rod, he’ll probably be ok. He’s not going to make progress until he does though. They do tell him they have a discount code available when he can buy one. He just needs to sign up to their mailing list.
While we see things like this everywhere, it can be particularly cruel in the context of mental health and wellbeing when people are clearly vulnerable and struggling. Even if a service or product has value and is legitimate, paying for help and support can leave people struggling. They’ll probably face the terrible position of having to choose it above other things that are essential.
Finally, someone comes along to really help. They spend a short time showing him how to fish and it makes a difference, as they just share what’s important. It’s far more effective than what he paid for, as this type of support is direct, sincere and informative. The person helping him then gives him an old rod they have spare before showing him how to build an effective fire to cook the fish. Before leaving, they give him a lighter and some cooking utensils that they also have spare.
While our man on the river bank still faces problems, the immediate and pressing issues are resolved long-term. He can do these things himself. As I said, it’s not the end of the road for him, but he can build on this. He has a firm foundation. I think if people really looked at his situation, the solution was pretty obvious.
I hope this tells you something about my approach and why I do what I do. I’m not promoting my project here, I’m promoting the intention behind it. Why I’m so keen to help people create their own wellbeing toolkit. I’ve seen all this in the real world and I want to do something about it. You could be able to do something about it as well.
The system we have isn’t supporting people the way it should.
Just think for a moment what people are likely to be presented with when they reach out for help. Online, there’s unlikely to be practical and effective help available that’s not locked behind a paywall. When they speak to professionals, like their GP, they’re probably offered short-term solutions (that they’ll probably have to wait for). There are also likely to be people who see them as an opportunity.
When it comes to mental health and wellbeing, there’s so much we can do to help ourselves. That wellbeing toolkit can help you find solutions or keep you going until help arrives. A lot of the ideas and practices I share are just like learning how to fish. Other people are also out there sharing them too.
I left one important thing out of my story though. The man himself. He has to be ready to ask for help and willing to accept it when it’s offered. He has to accept there’s a problem. It’s easy to bury your head in the sand. If this sounds like you, start building your wellbeing toolkit right now, and look for people who could help you find long-term solutions.