The Five Ways to Wellbeing
If you want to feel better and go searching for help and advice, there’s a good chance you’ll be introduced to the Five Ways to Wellbeing. Published in 2008 by the New Economics Foundation, it was presented to the government’s Foresight Project. This evidence-based guide was created to help people improve their mental health and wellbeing.
You’ll find The Five Ways to Wellbeing used by organisations like the NHS and mental health charities, such as Mind.
In short, it suggests five things we should all try to do. Rather than just provide an overview and recreate something you’ll see elsewhere, I’d like to do something different. I thought it would help to give you my take on The Five Ways to Wellbeing. This is based on a lot of experience introducing and discussing them with people who really needed help.
We’ll go through each of The Five Ways to Wellbeing now. I’ll give you a helpful induction and then suggest ways they could help you. More importantly, I’ll share helpful ways you can get started. Remember, we’re all different and we all need different things. This guide is here to help you decide what should suit you.
You can also go further. You can use all of this to help other people if you get the opportunity. If someone is struggling, you could suggest some of these helpful things that could really help them feel better. You could join them, and set an example.
Doing this should really enhance your understanding of The Five Ways to Wellbeing and probably open up new possibilities you hadn’t considered.
One - Connect
When I introduce this one, I ask the people I’m speaking to a very odd question. I ask them why octopuses aren’t sat in the room with us, and I get some very odd looks. I then go on to explain how incredibly intelligent they are, and how they may be close to where we are.
I go on to explain that the big difference between them and us is that they have never worked together or learned to communicate effectively. They are solitary creatures.
We’ve always been drawn together. Our origins as hunter-gatherers has made communication and co-operation essential. Our species has always been part of a tribe. For better or worse, everything we’ve achieved has come about from working with others and connecting with them.
To put this in perspective, I always highlight the computer mouse, a handy device a lot of us use every day. No one really invented it, it was a collection of many, many innovations all put together. This all leads to a clear conclusion that we need each other. We have not evolved to be isolated. We need connections with each other to grow and succeed.
The right connections are essential when it comes to mental health and wellbeing. Support from those close and those that understand. This isn’t always easy though and sometimes, it’s not an option. For some, who are more extroverted and confident, connections are easy. They will be at home in groups of people and it will feel great. The problem for them is when they need to be alone, as that’s where the discomfort sets in.
On the other hand, those who are more introverted and lack confidence will find socialising difficult. It will be uncomfortable in a crowd and things won’t feel natural. It’s even harder if the people who should be there for support respond with criticism, judgment or condemnation. That really doesn’t help.
How I can help you connect
I think I’m in a very good position to offer advice here. I’m an only child, a natural introvert and my curiosity and creativity have always helped me find things to do. My work though, which often includes performance, advising or networking, has pushed me to be extroverted.
I’ve put a lot of work into this, so I really understand the process.
For me, the perfect Saturday is spending time at my desk. With coffee and tea as my companions, I’ll be creating or planning something. Working away with the right music or podcast playing in the background. It’s natural for me to want to say no if someone asks me to do something else.
I’ve learned to challenge myself though. I know that if I keep saying no to people, they will naturally assume I don’t want to connect. In situations like this, I remind myself what happens when I say yes.
A few years ago, I received an invite to two events on the same day. This was just after the pandemic, where I’d been particularly inactive, and I was struggling with a few things. I pushed myself to do both though and I had a great day. I met new people with similar interests and had some great conversations. I felt so much better afterwards.
Things are usually a lot easier when you start to connect with people.
I now focus on where that yes leads. How I feel after taking an uncomfortable step and more importantly, how I feel afterwards. That’s why I always encourage people to say yes and accept invites when they can. To focus on that feeling afterwards.
How you can connect
The first step to connecting is to think about what you have and what’s possible. Have you been putting off a phone call or a text to someone? Is there someone you’d like to connect with? Again, is there anything you need to say yes to? If you’re not feeling great, a familiar face can make it a lot easier.
Going beyond who you know, what’s out there in your local area? Have a look online or on local notice boards (they can often be found in cafes and supermarkets). Are there any community groups or activities that take your fancy? I know it can feel like a bit much, but keep focussing on how you’re likely to feel afterwards. You could also think about people you could take with you as well.
The great thing about technology is that we don’t have to meet in person. What are your options here? Can you chat to someone online or join any groups? Have a think. We can then reflect on what we find interesting. Are there other people out there we could connect with, who share our passion for these things?
Although I want to provide encouragement and give a gentle push, I do need to warn you about a couple of things. Firstly, if we don’t know the people we’re interacting with, safety and security should always be a consideration. If it’s people we know though, we have to remember those things that can be unhelpful.
If we’re struggling, a conversation full of judgment and instructions may not be what we need. Remember, that’s why it helps to talk to professionals when things are rough. They take care to listen and to understand. Not to judge, not to interrupt and not to change the subject to make it about them.
We can all do this though. Sometimes just listening to someone can make a difference. Letting them know we’re there.
Finally when it comes to connecting, we shouldn’t overlook where it can lead us. As I’ve said, we’ll fell better afterwards and it will keep us stimulated. We’re also likely to learn new things and start to understand other people. Hopefully, we’ll get another point of view and a new perspective.
Some options to consider:
A sport or activity
Going for a coffee or a meal
Walking with someone else
A trip out
An interest group or a course
Volunteering
Two - Be active
How do you’ve feel when you’ve just sat around all day? Groggy, stiff and lethargic are probably some of the words that come to mind. It rarely feels good. While I understand that a lot of people may have restrictions on movement due to their health, there’s often something we can do if we think carefully.
Lack of activity can be a problem. I’ve heard it said that sitting is the new smoking. We’re constantly being warned about obesity levels and the effects of unbalanced lifestyles. We also have the constant temptation of technology, encouraging us to sit glued to screens.
The bottom line is that it’s a safe bet that we are far less active than any of our ancestors.
I think it helps here to define activity as movement, preferably outside. It doesn’t have to be strenuous and it doesn’t have to cost you anything. It’s easy to assume that you need to join a gym, run or cycle for miles and really push yourself to be active. Trust me, there’s a lot in-between those things we can explore.
I like to start by encouraging people to just go outside. Think about the little things they can do. For example, taking the stairs instead of a lift or just leaving the car at home and taking a short walk to where you need to be.
How I can help you be active
This is another one where I really understand both sides. As someone with a neurological disability, I’m limited as to what I can do when it comes to being active. There are a lot of things that could cause significant pain, so I have to be very careful. As I said in the last section, I also like being busy inside and I have to admit that all my technology tempts me to put off activity.
On the other hand, I know how essential it is, for both my mind and my body. I’ve also seen the transformation in other people when they make exercise a regular activity. Perhaps more importantly, I’m used to carefully thinking about what I can do and making it work for me.
I often explain that when I go to the gym, I probably can’t do around 60% of the things there. I don’t think about that though. My illness has taught me to focus on the things I can do. I can’t run, lift heavy weights or climb, but I can walk, lift moderate weights and I can go on the rower. It all adds up.
Right now, my activity is focussed on walking and yoga. I get out for a walk whenever the weather allows and I personally use the Apple Fitness+ app for some great yoga lessons. I’m drawn to this particular service as they often have one of the instructors provide a limited set of moves, so I can quickly adapt when needed. Neurologists I’ve spoken to have really approved of this form of exercise as well.
To be blunt, the discomfort, the distractions around me and my natural lazy tendencies could mean I could easily do nothing. I know I can’t though and like connecting, I always focus on how I feel afterwards.
How you can be active
The first thing I suggest to someone who is really struggling with being active is something called a gateway habit. I explain that if someone wanted to go to the gym, they would probably overwhelm themselves with things they thought they had to do. For example, warm up on the cross trainer, do some weights, run on the treadmill and then go on the rower. These all mount up and make it easy to get overwhelmed and talk yourself out of going.
Why not set one goal? Put on your gear, travel there and walk through the door. That’s it. If you want to, you can walk back out and head home. You probably won’t though, as the hard work has been done. When you’re used to it, you can start adding more things to do and build it up.
I do the same thing when I’m encouraging people to start being active, who often rarely exercise in any way. I simply ask them to put on their shoes or trainers, step outside, lock the door behind them and just head to the pavement or nearest public area away from their house. That’s it, if they want to they can just head back inside.
They don’t usually do this though. They start walking to the end of their street. They find somewhere close in nature or somewhere that inspires them. They then keep on going, and I quickly see the results. Often, they start taking their family with them and things get a lot better. It inevitably brings them together.
So have a think about what you can do to be active. What are the possibilities? Can you join a gym, are there any sports you’re drawn to and are there places near you where you can walk or run? Do you have a bike or could you get one? Finally, you can ask yourself if there’s anything you can do inside. A yoga mat is all I need to be active.
Combining being active with the others
As you can probably see, connecting with other people can help us be active. For example, if we ask someone to join us, we make a commitment. We can then connect with that other person. Joining a team or a group activity can also be very helpful.
It’s also worth remembering that when we make these habits stick and we become more active, we can encourage others to join us. We can evangelise through our actions.
Some options to consider:
Sports
walking, cycling and running
Working out at home
Going to the gym
Spending time outside
Three - Take notice
This one may not be clear at first, but you should quickly understand when I explain that it’s all about being mindful. Focussing on the present moment and simply noticing what’s around you. When I introduce it, I often take people through a mindful activity like just closing their eyes and counting their breaths. Listening to everything happening around them.
Another helpful exercise is to encourage people to really look around the room they’re in. Encourage them to notice what’s on the walls and what they can see outside. It’s often like a whole new world has been introduced.
I’ve done this myself. When I‘ve lead people through this activity, I’ve noticed posters on the wall that I’ve never really seen before. I’ve also noticed beautiful trees outside that are usually obscured by a life on autopilot.
It’s easy for us all to become consumed by our thoughts, that are often focused on the future or the past. All of this is about the one thing we really have. Right now, the present.
When we start to take notice, we start to stop thoughts spiralling out of control. That negative thought that leads to another and then another. We often see incredible things. Nature, the world around us and all the sights and sounds that get obscured by that life on autopilot. Take a break from it.
How I can help you take notice
I’m someone who can easily get lost in the past or the future. Be bogged down by negativity and then suddenly look around and see what’s around me. A great example happened last year.
I was out walking in a nearby park by the sea, surrounded by wild grassland and trees. Unfortunately, my mind was in an unhelpful place when I suddenly heard something. The wind was making an unusual sound as it hit the grass and it grabbed my attention and forced me into the present moment. I couldn’t help looking.
I then saw something amazing. The whole grassy area next to me was teeming with activity, life and beautiful things to see. Insects, plants and the sea in the background. I’d shut it all out. I just stood there taking it all in, noticing every sight sound and sensation. It was an incredible reminder of what we can easily shut out on autopilot or by allowing unhelpful thoughts to take hold and spiral.
Meditation and mindfulness are so important to me. When you’ve finished this, I’ll link to my helpful guide so you can learn more if you need to. In this guide, I personally treat meditation and mindfulness as two separate things and I think that really helps here.
To make it simple, meditation is essentially the practice of encouraging our minds to focus on the present moment. To keep nudging our attention back to this when it inevitably wanders. For me mindfulness is the application of this practice in the our everyday lives, in the world around us. It helps us take notice.
I also know what a difference it can make to others. Some people have told me it’s the best they have felt in years when I’ve shown them how to mediate taken them through a few introductory mindful exercises. Encouraging them to continue afterwards and really notice what’s happening on their journey home can also help. Staying in the present moment whenever they can.
How you can take notice
It really helps to learn all about the practice of meditation and mindfulness. It has helped people for thousands of years, and it can help you too. As I’ve said, I’ll link to my guide at the end so you can get started.
For now, I’d like you to consider what happens when we’re stressed and anxious. We can easily find ourselves in survival mode, where the body and mind struggle to relax and calm down. Where it gets hard to think clearly and the body and mind do everything they can to avoid perceived risks and danger.
Being present and noticing things can help us break out of this. We relax and we’re naturally distracted. Unfortunately, most people aren’t aware of this and the spiral continues.
Just noticing what’s around you can and being present can make so much difference. Staying there is the key to this though. Learning to naturally notice when your mind starts to wander. Gently preventing unhelpful thoughts from spiralling out of control before they even take hold.
Perhaps the most important thing is that when we start to look for things and take notice. We often find things we should be grateful for and appreciate
Combining taking notice with the others
I think it’s clear how we can combine this with being active. Mindful walks are a great place to start. Just going outside, walking a random path and focussing on the present moment and everything you see. You can even take it a step further with mindful photography. This is where you use your phone to capture the things you see. You can even be mindful as you study all the details in them at home afterwards.
As you’ve probably guessed, you can include other people in these activities. Could you arrange a mindful walk with anyone you know? Introduce them to the power of the present moment.
Some options to consider:
Meditation
Being mindful
Going for mindful walks
Trying mindful photography
Four - Keep learning
So many people seem to assume that learning is just about gaining qualifications or training for a job. There’s far more to it though, and I’d like to introduce one of my favourite quotes here. As Mark Twain once said, “ I’ve never let my schooling interfere with my education”. Just consider that for a moment.
All of us have so much to learn, and it can be a rewarding experience. Just feeding our natural curiosity can be so fulfilling. I often find though that a common block is when people have struggled in the education system. This is understandable for me as historically, the system hasn’t always been flexible for those who need something different.
My advice here is that there is no shame in lacking skills. There are often local groups and services that can help with reading and I’ve seen what happens when people push themselves to engage. It opens up so much.
Reading is a great place to start. We should all have access to a library and there are so many ways to read online now. We also have online courses and videos to dive into. When we get going, actual courses and learning groups may be an option.
This is all so important. When we get active we exercise the body and when we keep learning, we can do the same for our mind. It stimulates us, sparks interest and often, creativity. Just have a think about what you can do.
How I can help you keep learning
I turned to learning when I was in a very tough spot. The sudden onset of my neurological condition over a decade ago left me unable to walk and in a lot of pain for almost a year. My iPad gave a refuge though. In the evenings, I would sit in peace and read about amazing things online or watch helpful videos.
I’d take a random and relaxed approach I describe as my ‘monkey mind’. I’d get inspiration, I’d find something and it would lead me to something else. It was like I was randomly swinging from branch to branch. History (particular that of my local area), spirituality and science were just a few of the many areas I touched on. I never got bored. There is literally an entire universe out there to explore.
I always encourage people to do something like this. Just think of things that take your interest and let go. Learn for the sake of learning. It often results in understanding. All of this extended my horizons, thought me valuable skills and provided so much meaning. I’ve also been able to pass a lot of helpful things on to other people.
How you can keep learning
Learning something is often followed by a sense of achievement. This is particularly effective when we learn a new skill. What would you like to learn? Have you ever considered playing an instrument, learning to cook or maybe some kind of craft? Creating something can be so rewarding.
As well as an accomplishment, it can also provide meaning and I’ve already touched on how important that is. I always encourage people to brainstorm. think carefully about what they want and not get bogged down with limits at first. What would you like to do? Think hard about it.
It can also put something back into your life. Learning DIY or gardening skills can help you improve your home. Creative skills can help unlock a passion and learning how to take care of yourself is what this site is all about.
We can also go back to making it about work. You could learn something that advances your career and opens up options. I’ll leave it to you to get thinking. Finally, we can look at what’s happening in our area. Are there any special interest groups, or is someone giving a talk or teaching valuable skills?
Combining keeping learning with the others
Like the others, you could encourage someone else to join you and make a commitment. You could then discuss the things you’ve learned and help each other understand. Going out and seeing the things you’ve learned about is also going to help you be active.
Noticing new things you want to learn about should also help and could be integrated into your walks. I think the most helpful thing you can do though is take time to learn more and really understand all of The Five Ways to Wellbeing.
Some options to consider:
Reading
Watching documentaries
Courses
Talks and lectures
Visiting museums
Five - Give
People often assume this one is just about money and things, but it’s also about time. They all help us help other people. Doing something for someone else can be incredibly rewarding. There’s a reason selfless service is a key part of many religions. In terms of what we’re exploring here, it’s about how we’re likely to feel afterwards.
There are so many ways you can give. Making a donation, volunteering or simply helping someone out are just a few options. When we start to look at how other people may be struggling, it often puts our own problems into perspective. More importantly, it shifts us away from the destructive focus on our own advancement and self-interest that our society often encourages.
How I can help you give
My journey lead me to helping other people. I know how it feels when you make a difference. It’s also helped me. If we take this site as an example, I’m constant reminding myself of what’s important, and what I should be doing. You can learn a lot helping others.
Again, I think it starts to shift the way we think. Like when we start to notice things, this process is likely to lead us to gratitude and meaning. We should start to appreciate what we have, what we know and the journey that lead us to where we are now. Whatever it looks like in the story we tell ourselves.
I just think you should be wary of some obvious traps though. Remember what I said about selfless service. There are those people who want to keep reminding you of the donation they made, how good they are for stepping forward and giving their time and what they did to help someone. It’s all about them.
Trust me, that isn’t the point. It’s often part of that destructive focus we’re trying to avoid.
How you can give
Donating things you don’t use is a great place to start. You could check those local listings to see where they could be put to use. Volunteering for a charity is also a great way to give. You could also think about the type of work you do. Could you go in another direction?
Perhaps more importantly, does anyone around you need some help?
We need to be a little bit careful with this one though. If we’re really struggling, it’s best to focus on settling our state and getting ourselves some help. I remember someone reminding me that if you just dive in to help someone who has fallen into the water, it could easily result in two people who need rescuing. Have a think about this.
Combining giving with the others
It’s handy that this one is last. If you’ve gone through the others, you may be able to share your experiences. Remember what I said at the start and encourage others to join in and benefit.
You could also give your time to create a social group to connect people. There may be an option to learn something or be active here as well. It could also include mindfulness to help people take notice. Get thinking.
Some options to consider:
Donating old clothes
Volunteering
Helping friends
Giving to a charity
Joining or leading community groups
So, they are the Five Ways to Wellbeing. I hope this gives you plenty of ideas. As I said, you can find out a lot more from other sources online and I just wanted to take you through them as an introduction. I think this summary of the key points will really help you.
The Five Ways to Wellbeing:
Connect
Think about what you can do with other people. Reach out and respond positively to invitations. Focus on where that yes will lead you.
Be active
Remember, this is about what suits you. Where can you go can how can you move more. Again, focus on how you’ll feel afterwards.
Take notice
What incredible things are all around you? Don’t shut them out because you’re on autopilot. Stop negative thought spiralling out of control before they start.
Keep learning
What do you want to do? What takes your interest? there’s a whole universe out there to explore.
Give
Can you help someone? Do you have too much stuff? Find out where selfless service can lead you.
Thanks so much for taking time to read this post, it’s important to me. Although the things I’ve covered here are either part of my guides, or are planned for future series, I thought this would really help as a standalone resource. It’s now down to you to do something with it.
Hopefully, your mind is already starting to deliver you ideas. Where can you take all of this? Remember what I said at the start though. You can help other people as well. Can you share this with someone else or bring them into the things you do. Let’s keep helping each other.
You also have a lot of ideas here to fill up your wellbeing toolkit. To help you keep going, I’ve linked to some of my other content that fits in with this:
Meditate and be mindful - My helpful guide to get you started
Alignment - These videos can help you get started
Please bookmark this post, as it will help to keep coming back to it for inspiration and reminders. I’ll also update it as the site develops.