Lessons from the Japanese tea ceremony
I was recently introduced to the concept of the Japanese tea ceremony, and it really got me thinking. The intentions behind it are things we could all benefit from right now. It’s focussed on how we interact with others and it can help us when we visit people, entertain guests or just use social media. There’s a lot to explore, and we don’t need to be drinking tea to do it.
I actually came across this while playing a game, Assassin’s Creed Shadows. It’s set in medieval Japan and there’s a scene that focuses on the ceremony and more importantly, the intentions behind it. A very basic description is that it’s a ritualistic way of serving tea to guests, that prompts people to think and act in a positive way.
The Principles of Chado (way of the tea) are Harmony (Wa), Respect (Kei), Purity (Sei) and Tranquility (Jaku). I’ll go through each of the principles now and share my thoughts. It’s roots in Zen should also become clear.
All of this goes far beyond being a good host as like a lot of my work, it can help to connect us with what really matters. This probably isn’t something you’ll just want to read once, as I’ll pose a lot of meaningful questions to you. I’ll list them at the end so you can keep coming back to them.
Harmony (Wa)
Let’s be honest, we could use a lot more of this in the world right now. Just look at social media to get a glimpse of the problems we face. This is a helpful starting point, as we (hopefully) wouldn’t act the way a lot of people do online if we visited someone’s home. We’d be polite and we’d be on our best behaviour.
In the ceremony, the harmony is focussed on the connection between the host and their guests. It also touches on the wider connection to nature. For me, a lot of this is about our conversations. While the harmony of agreement is great, I think the ability to discuss something we disagree on in a respectful and constructive way is a dying art.
This leads us to the core intentions of the ceremony. To move beyond trying to impress people, compete or dominate. Just think for a second about how many conversations are based on what someone has gained. Whether it’s a possession, a title, authority or an idea, think about where this may leave the other side.
We can then consider how many conversations are based on influencing someone to do or accept something.
Going back to the ceremony, the intention is a merging and transcendence of egos and roles. Just think about what that might have looked like in medieval Japan. I hope this prompts you to really consider how you treat and view other people. I’ll leave it to you to work out where you are with this. Is there anything you could change?
Respect (Kai)
This is another thing we’re really struggling with at the moment. Again, just a glimpse at social media or even the average news channel should give you an idea of the scale of the problem.
Let’s go back to that concept of ‘best behaviour’ I touched on before. I think this is fundamentally about respect, but for me it only goes so far. I think a lot of people are afraid of discussing things right now and feel they either need to stay silent or look like they agree with other people to keep the peace.
As I find myself saying a lot in my work, understanding someone’s position is very different from agreeing with it. We often need to talk to gain this understanding though.
In terms of the ceremony, this is usually focussed on the things in the host’s home. The utensils used in the ceremony are particularly important. Think about it, a highly ornate and expensive pot and cups could send a message as strong as a broken or dirty set. Remember, the focus is on respecting the other people. Not making them feel inferior or unimportant.
What I find particularly interesting is that this focus on respect often goes further, to promote a respect for nature.
Hopefully, you can now start to see how these principles come together and how the things we have can also send a message to other people. I’d just have a think about the messages you may be sending. It’s important to be mindful that you may not be aware of them. More importantly, you should ask yourself how you respect other people.
Perhaps more significantly, you can flip this and ask another important question. Do people show respect to you?
Purity (Sei)
The intention here is on treating yourself and other people with a pure and open heart. In a world where so many people are trying to influence and mislead us, this is something we should all think about. Yet again, you just need to be on social media for a short time before you’re connected with people trying to sell you something, positioning themselves as experts or warning you about something.
I’m confident the motivation behind most of these messages are not a pure and open heart.
In the ceremony, the concept of purity is focussed on the setting of the utensils. Interestingly, it’s not on cleanliness. Cleanliness comes about through the focus on the utensils. In short, purity comes from intention. Have a think about that.
For me, the key to this is all about how we approach the world. I think it comes down to what we want. Why do we connect with other people? Do we want something, or do we want to improve our status? Finally, do we genuinely enjoy their company and feel enriched after our conversations?
Tranquility (Jaku)
The most significant thing here is that tranquility is not the goal. It’s the result of the other three principles combined. When we focus on harmony, respect and purity, tranquility can be a very welcome result. This reminds me of the way so many people want to ‘be happy’. They often seem to consider it as some sort of goal when it’s actually a result of other things.
If we again look at the world around us, we can ask ourselves how many people are likely to experience something like this. Will owning something, gaining something or being right lead anyone here?
The first thing I’d ask yourself is if you ever feel anything like this browsing social media?
In terms of the ceremony, I think it’s hard to put the concept of tranquility into words. Fundamentally, it’s about a deep satisfaction. A connection to something. Being able to fully immerse yourself in the present moment is sure to help as well. When it comes to interactions with people, I think it comes from genuine and authentic connections.
The big question here is whether you feel anything like this when you interact with people. This doesn’t need to lead you to judgement and actions though, just a simple and honest awareness. It’s worth thinking about what you can do and about what you need to do in order to experience something like this.
Now you’re aware of the Principles of Chado, you can really think about what this all means. To help you, I’ve listed the key questions I’ve raised below.
Ask yourself:
How many conversations are based on what someone has gained?
How do you treat and view others?
What messages do your things send to people?
Do you feel enriched after conversations?
When did you last feel anything like tranquility?
I hope this helps and that you get something from it. As I’ve said, this is one you’ll probably want to keep coming back to. I genuinely think it can help you and everyone around you.
I’ve left what is perhaps the most important question until the end though. Where do you start? Can you invite someone for tea or a meal or can you go somewhere. Get thinking.